Are Tweens Like Honey Bees?


You are a quasi-celebrity sitting in a cafeteria-style lunchroom with hundreds of pre-teens. This group, in general, behaves without any form of self control, precisely the way all humans would if they could. For this reason, “tweens” are probably the best study group on human behavior. The tweens spot you and word spreads like an audience wave at a baseball game. The tweens now engage in an unusual, yet telling human behavior, directed at you and your family. Their behavior implies the following:

1) You are completely deaf:

They talk aloud about the you within a 10-foot range. Are they assuming you are sitting inside your fan-suppressing housing unit with your sound shield fully engaged?

2) You are completely blind:

They stare, photograph, videotape, giggle, whisper, and then plot to waylay you in a Lord-of-the-flies-style takeover. They do this with the sincere belief that neither you nor your family can discern their stealthy operations.

3) You are now their personal property:

Once their takeover operation is complete, they follow their captive around like bees protecting their queen. They are fully responsible for your safety and will defend you against all unknowing fans.

Fully-grown tweens carry on similar behavior but much more surreptitiously. They have developed their operations over years of real-world training, and now have the discipline and craft refined to a level only discernable by a few of the best and brightest quasi-celeb spouses out there.

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